Lent 2012: A Sugarless Insanity

So, here's the problem with giving up sugar: It sucks.

Generally, I avoid artificial sweeteners and choose real sugar when I eat. I'm not a fan of low-fat items either. When I eat, it's full fat, real sugar goodness - in smaller portions. So, when I eliminated sugar from my diet, I didn't realize how difficult it would be because I didn't think about the fact that the alternative to bought items is artificial sweeteners. I am aware that at home I can substitute with items such as honey, maple syrup and applesauce. And that's great! I'm all for it. My good friend had some girls over last night and made a sugar-free chocolate fondue from cocoa powder, milk, butter and honey. It was delish!

But I was about to throw in the towel with this endeavour yesterday. I started thinking that I could possibly finish my sugar lent at the halfway mark and then give something else up for the second half of lent. Seriously, I was feeling OCD about getting some chocolate into my system. So, when Hubs brought home a small package of Russell Stover's No-Sugar Added Chocolatey Treats, a package of five Turtles like concoctions, I possessed zero self control as I ate four of the five within ten minutes. They tasted sooooo good. 

That was around 1:30pm. By about 4:30, when I was getting ready to go out to dinner with a good friend and then continue on to another friend's home later that evening, I began to feel the rumblings within. Dear God! The warning of "Excess consumption may cause a laxative effect" on those bags NEEDS to be BIGGER! And it needs to specify "excess" as "four." Stopping for Beano on the way to the restaurant with my friend laughing at me in the passenger seat was nearly as delightful as going to as the pharmacist and having the tech take my question. Oh, did I mention that the tech ended up being someone I went to elementary school with? 

Me? Pride? 

Not anymore.

While the gas relief pills helped, I definitely didn't feel normal again until this morning. And I have certainly learned a lesson. There is a reason that I avoid artificial sweeteners... this was a good reminder of that. 

As for the sugarless insanity I've been on, I do plan on continuing. The support of friends and family is certainly helping. And if Christ gave up his life for me, I guess I can continue eating without sugar or fake sugars in my diet for another 23 days. Well, He is God, and I'm just me, so maybe I can't, but I will try!

Bangkok Dangerous: Because I Will Be the Love That Comes

To make my trip to Thailand a reality, I really need your help. Without the funds to get there, it will simply remain a dream. If you can support me financially, please click the 'donate' button in the top right corner of this blog or send an email money transfer to singh.carrie@gmail.com. If you cannot give today, but can give by the end of April, please make a pledge to me and honour it when you can. No amount is too small! I am thankful for every dollar. 

If you cannot support me financially, I am in great need of prayers for protection, wisdom and readiness as well as words of encouragement. This is the first missions trip I will ever go on and I will be away from my hubby and babies for sixteen days (if you have kids, you know what I mean)! I would be truly grateful for your prayers and kind words. 

*****This post is part of a series. To see previous posts, click below:*****

      ~Bankok Dangerous: A Dare I Need Your Help With~

~Bangkok Dangerous: Video: Rahab Ministries~

~Bangkok Dangerous: Why Thailand~

Lent 2012

I love lent. I love how in the days approaching Easter, I am ever aware of Christ's sacrifice as I struggle with my menial short-term sacrifice. I love testing my self-control and celebrating as I learn greater discipline.

This year, I've given up refined sugar for lent. Not just cookies and candy, but all refined sugar. We're a week in, and can I tell you something? This is hard. I'm constantly checking labels and making sure I'm not eating sugar wherever possible, but sugar is in just about everything we eat. I mean everything. Check out sugarstacks.com to see what I mean! I almost messed up one night at work when I bought a chocolate milk to go with my subway sub. I didn't drink it, but I wonder, in reality, how much sugar was in the bread anyway?

I've tried to eat yogurt, bread, crackers, dried fruit, rice cakes, and so on, but somewhere in the ingredients list is sugar, glucose, fructose, icing sugar, brown sugar, corn syrup or corn syrup solids. I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure all of these things would be classified as refined sugar! What is wrong with us that we can't eat anything without it being sweetened first?

My diet's consisted of mostly fruit, veggies, unleavened bread, meat, nuts, beans and cheese in all sorts of variations. I'm sure it must be the most healthy diet I've ever eaten, but I am bored.  

Does anyone out there have any suggestions to spice up my sugarless diet? I am allowing maple syrup (the real deal), honey and natural sugars in fruits and such. I've never felt so unsatisfied when I eat and I am certain that it is because my body is addicted to sugar so I'm not coping very well. 

I'd be grateful for any tips!

Bangkok Dangerous: Why Thailand?

Before answering, "Why Thailand?" I think it's essential that I make you aware of how large an issue human trafficking really is. It is generally very easy for me to pretend that it doesn't exist while I sit in my warm and comfy home within my suburban Charlottetown neighbourhood. It's not like PEI is grossly affected by crimes such as murders, prostitution and the like. Petty crimes and simple misbehaviours by bored teenagers account for most of the negative headlines in our newspapers... oh, and people driving into buildings (hospital, Starbucks, house)... what's up with that? 

But that doesn't mean that I have to be completely ignorant to the fact greater crimes and treacheries do not exist - here and elsewhere. Friends of mine and missionaries to Włocławek, Poland, recently became more educated on this issue and shared some of their findings in a blog post entitled "People, Pornography and Price Tags." Please take a few minutes to read it. I promise it will be worth the read. 

While it is difficult, if not impossible to get statistics on human trafficking, I believe it is safe to say that if we could see the numbers, they would be staggering. However, some notes that have grabbed my attention while I've been researching recently are as follows:

• The average age of a female entering prostitution is around 12 years old. 
• In Canada, a girl can be sold for $15,000 and earn her owner over $40,000 per year.
• An estimated 2.5 million people are in forced labour (including sexual exploitation) at any given time as a result of trafficking
• People are reported to be trafficked from 127 countries to be exploited in 137 countries, affecting every continent and every type of economy.
• Many trafficking victims have a least a middle-level education.

So,  "Why Thailand?" Initially, I decided to go on this trip because it is absolutely an educational and experiential trip for myself. It is in a small group setting (there are only six of us going) and I fully trust the woman organizing the event. Plus, we will be working and learning with people who have been working in the red light district of Bangkok for over twenty years. 

As time has passed and I have researched human trafficking and what it is like in Thailand, my heart is already growing compassionate and I have a longing to know on the only level I can without having experienced this life. I can imagine my life taking on a greater purpose - educating others immediately and perhaps one day detecting, preventing and/or giving after care for those who have the opportunity for a fresh start. 

I believe it is a worthwhile dream and that this trip to Thailand is the beginning of many good things to come. I assume that this trip will not only be informative, but that my hands, heart and head will be forever changed. 

To make this a reality, I really need your help. Without the funds to get to Thailand, it will simply remain a dream. If you can support me financially, please click the 'donate' button in the top right corner of this blog or send an email money transfer to singh.carrie@gmail.com. If you cannot give today, but can give by the end of April, please make a pledge to me and honour it when you can. No amount is too small! I am collecting bottles off the side of the road at five cents a piece, so please if you are willing to give, I would be grateful for any amount of help. 

If you cannot support me financially, I am in great need of prayers for protection, wisdom and readiness as well as words of encouragement. This is the first missions trip I have ever been on and I will be away from my hubby and babies for sixteen days (if you have kids, you know what I mean)! I would be truly grateful for your prayers and kind words. 

*****This post is part of a series. To see previous posts, click below:*****

      ~Bankok Dangerous: A Dare I Need Your Help With~

~Bangkok Dangerous: Video: Rahab Ministries~

Sources:

http://thepricepost.com/

http://www.4mycanada.ca/HumanTrafficking.html

International Labour Organization, Forced Labour Statistics Factsheet (2007)

United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime, Trafficking in Persons: Global Patterns (Vienna, 2006)

International Organization for Migration, Counter-Trafficking Database, 78 Countries, 1999-2006 (1999)

Dealing With Criticism

I admit that when I am criticized about something, I get defensive. Perhaps it is because I am a perfectionist. Being a people pleaser certainly can't help. All in all, I really just want to do a good job and hearing that I'm not is a tough thing for me - especially when I'm giving it my all. 

Sometimes I feel like I'm being criticized at work all of the time. On my days off, through texts and phone calls, emails and facebook, I'm always getting "reminders" of what I should be doing or what I'm not doing as my boss doesn't want to approach me on the subject in the communication book at work. But, it is becoming very overwhelming. 

Lately, I've been asking Hubs if I am crazy. Am I blaming my boss too much for my mistakes or is she really just a poor manager? In my defence, he of course says that I'm not the problem. Nonetheless, I've taken it upon myself to grow a little bit. There's no better way to learn how to accept and deal with criticism than when you're in the middle of it all the time! 

Here are some things that I'm learning (or trying to learn) to do with the criticism I'm receiving:

Don't Take It Personally

I admit, if feels like a dagger through my heart each time I'm told that my efforts weren't good enough whenever I give everything I have in the allocated time frame. I want to know that I have done well. But in reality, I may have missed a detail or two, but that doesn't reflect who I am. It just reflects a mistake. Sometimes, I'm not going to have everything done well and I need to be able to know in my heart that I did my best even when it gets criticized.

Learn From It

Sure, I may have done my best, but I now know that my boss expects a certain things that I didn't know of before. And my newfound knowledge inspires me to spend my spare moments ensuring the the things that matter the most to her are done.

Ask Questions

I've been surprised of some of my boss's criticisms so I inquired of her the specifics she was looking for. She listed several things that she looks for. Ok, great! Now I have a mental list to check off and I can hope that she will not be frustrated about them anymore.

Ignore False Criticism

Certainly, some of the criticisms I've received are legitimate. But sometimes, the criticisms I receive are not. I have to be aware of things that are false so that I don't let it fester within my being.

Don't Defend Yourself to the Criticizer

This is where I struggle the most. I will beat a dead horse in an attempt to clear my name. I will explain, re-explain and over-explain myself in hopes that the criticizer will change his/her mind about me. Unfortunately, I just become a whiny, needy annoyance and I further frustrate (in this situation) my boss likely concluding in her mind that I am worthy of the criticism. While it is a very large pill for me to swallow, I must shut my mouth and allow the situation to resolve itself peacefully, changing what I need to change, forgiving what I need to forgive, and trusting that my name will not be devalued without just cause.

Ask Questions: Take Two

After I've changed everything and attempted to please my seemingly over-critical boss peacefully and with submission, I need to ask myself more questions. Has my attitude and behaviour change caused a decrease in her critical remarks? With all of my extra efforts, has my work environment become more positive? If not, it may be time for me to look for another job and realize that sometimes it just simply isn't worth the character beating to stay at a certain place of employment - especially a minimum wage one. 

Bangkok Dangerous: Video: Rahab Ministries

If you don't already know, I am planning a trip to Thailand this summer where I will experience life as a female at risk of being involved in the country's overwhelming sex industry. I will be working with Pat DeWit. The following video was made by her husband, Peter and gives some insight to their ministry there as well as what I will be involved with as I spend my time there. 

But I need your help. I am in need of financial support so that I may bring this trip to fruition. If you can support me in that way, please click the 'donate' button in the top right corner or send an email money transfer to singh.carrie@gmail.com. 

If you cannot support me financially, please consider supporting me with your prayers and words of encouragement. I would be truly grateful for them!

As you watch the video, may you catch the flame that is burning in my heart to go to Thailand so that I may be a voice for the voiceless. 

*****This post is part of a series. To see previous posts, click below:*****

      ~Bankok Dangerous: A Dare I Need Your Help With

Twenty-Twelve

I just want to put it out there: Twenty-eleven sucked.

By the time the year was over, I felt completely drained. Void of life and all of its pleasantries; Lacking in laughter and joy. 

I recognize that I am truly blessed and that I should be thankful just to have this life at all. But honestly, starting late in 2010, I felt life sucking me dry. Perhaps it's all just a part of growing up and I just need to grow a thicker skin, but I really don't want to do that. I already struggle with developing any sort of intimate relationship as I have spent the majority of my life making friends and then moving before I had to let them see me absolutely vulnerable. While I am glad to have friends all over this country, aside from Hubby and maybe one other person, no one really knows me well enough to call me out on my crap (always a bridesmaid, never a matron-of-honour). Because of this, I tend to build a wall around myself and not let others too close. So, a thicker skin probably isn't a good idea. 

The draining included learning the status of friend's marriages - some tainted, some failed, allowing a seemingly permanent gap to develop between myself and my parents, feeling the stressful need to get a job to make life less about making ends meet and more about having fun, struggling to work with a boss whose personality I naturally clash with while I would rather be at home with my kids anyway, realizing that my anxiety issues were never fully associated with postpartum and struggling to find a balanced life where I control my anxiety rather than let it control me, and finally, losing the life of an unborn baby.
But it is a new year. And in all of it, I am hopeful for Twenty-Twelve. Because hope comes from Christ. And my ways are not His ways. And His ways are for my good. 

"For I know the plans, I have for you, " declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you a hope and a future."